5 reasons not to fall for a guy's potential

When I first heard the Wale song/poem "ambitious girl" the line that stuck out to me was "i like the person you are but I love the person you have the potential to be." At first, I definitely related to that mentality but then I started thinking more about the things wrong with thinking that way. I'm guilty of it myself but I am simultaneously learning that it might not be such a good idea to love someone's potential.

Everybody wants to find that perfect guy but perfect doesn’t exist. Because perfect doesn’t exist, we try to get as close to it as possible. People often fall for the potential a guy has rather than who they are to begin with. We think we can change them and they’ll be molded into the perfect guy for us. But what happens when that crumbles in our faces? Here are 5 reasons not to fall for a guy’s potential.

1. A lot of times guys don’t want to be changed. They are happy with who they are; whether flawed or not we have to remember that what might be a flaw to us might be treasured by the next person.
2. You will stress yourself out trying so hard to change somebody who as I’ve mentioned might not want to be changed. As the saying goes “you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.” You will be pulling your hair out trying to figure out how to make your “horse” drink that water.
3. Once you realize that the guy is not changing, you may begin to settle. There’s a big difference from compromising and accepting someone’s flaws and settling. Settling is when you just accept the person because you don’t have the energy to fight it anymore even if their entire character is not what you ever saw yourself with.
4. The guy may NEVER reach the potential that you imagined for him. Just because you think he can be this great guy who fits your needs and wants perfectly, doesn’t mean he ever will. You’ll be left waiting for a change that’s never coming.
5. Lastly, your guy may reach the potential that you saw in him and helped him to achieve and find someone else! Now, you’ve spent all of this time molding a guy to be exactly how you want him just for him to go out and find someone who he may have never been able to get if he wasn’t the guy you helped him to be. Now you’re back at square one all over again.